Compassion Found

I am back on the wards after two months being elsewhere. I read back over my last post and marvel at the burnout I had three months ago.  Its not all gone but its better.  I smile at children again, I savor the little things and I am in awe of all that we can do with our seemingly infinite resources with medicine here. And more than anything I care again, I have found my compassion and my heart for this work.  I am in month 12/12 of internship, I have 24 days to go and I will be a 2nd year.

I also have  a new house that will one day have a garden and already has a roommate and a dog. The house has big windows, nooks and crannies and secrets it seem that hide amongst its 100 year old walls. Its also a minutes walk from a little Square where there is several cafes, coffee shops, a post office, a library and  a small park with fountain.It reminds me of being in Barcelona or Paris with the square, the occasional street noise reminds me of Bucharest  but my big back yard, my trees and my big windows remind me of North Carolina (the 80 degree weather is helping too). The history and the big porch remind me of my beloved Virginia mountains. Its a prefect blend of my favorite places. For the first time since moving here for residency, I feel like I have a home and am not merely camping waiting for my life to restart again in three years.

I sing of your mercies…..

the not so sacred sacred moments

Why does the sacred have to be confined to places of worship? I recently realized my most sacred moments in life rarely happen in church. For example recently…

Holding the hand of a child as they fall asleep.

Watching my grandparents celebrate 50 years surrounded by their children and grandchildren. Listening to their stories and remembering the miracles of the past 50 years.

Singing and laughing tucked back in a grove of trees with the same folks as the sun sets.

For the first time, diagnosing a child (a 9 mon old) with cancer and hoping and grieving with her mother.

Waking up and finding this in my garden. I didn’t plant this. I have been so busy, I haven’t had time to weed….

Sitting on a stoop in hot, humid, sultry SC with old friends from the other side of the world. Laughing, talking and just simply enjoying the company of people interested in living beyond the America bubble.

Holding my very first well child check patient and watching her eat her first birthday cake. (no HIPPA in Romania mission clinic)

That’s whats up in my life. That and lot of studying for the surgery shelf (not really so sacred).