Transition…..transition…

In September I had a hip replacement at 25.   My surgeon with his cowboy confidence and bigger than life ego told me as I sat there on a gurney with a heart rate of 119 signing the consent with a shaky hand that it was going to change my life.  I remember thinking dude, I like my life.  Just end the endless sleepless nights with hip pain and I will be happy. Don’t mess with my life.  In fact whatever you don’t screw it up.

I love Wake Forest.  I have the t-shirt, the hat, the flag, the tie-dye!, the key chain, the bumper stickers and the license plate border.  My new car is gold and black.  I sing the fight song and the alma mater and I of course detest UNC and Duke with my soul.  And while Medical school was not always a bed of roses and rainbows especially in terms of gimpness…I stood up for Wake because I loved Wake. I was happy there. Whatever you do don’t mess with my Wake.

Then in a strange series of events I have been pursued and recruited by one of the best pediatric programs in the country (perhaps the world!) which is NOT Wake Forest. And I work here now (or at least orienting now, work on Monday.  The rose colored glasses have come off.

Here I am not a freak. I am not an exception.  I am not even a pioneer. I am number FOUR. I am the fourth resident with a major disability to come through the program.  After I matched I sent an e-mail explaining to the program directors and chiefs my story and what I would need.  They e-mailed me back thanking me but surprised of course whatever  I needed was mine to have.  Everything is accessible. There are  other disabled employees that I see every day working at the medical center. And there is another intern in my year who also has a milder connective tissue disease and disability.

Beyond gimp life, the culture here is ALL about collaboration.  I thought wake was team oriented then I came here where everything is about communal learning.  The culture is phenomenal both for us and our patients. They invented and are perfecting family centered rounds….its so great.  (we round in the room with the family participating).

And I have been a patient…yes already.  I was seen in the connective tissue transition clinic. It was the most enlightening doctor’s appointment I have had in a decade.

Its AMAZING. And I wonder why in the world did I put up with the crap I put up with at Wake…but I love Wake….::::trembling lip:::: I find myself looking back and thinking why oh why did I allow myself to go through the fiasco that was the ED (even the peds side) or the procedures curriculum or allow a gross HIPPA violation of my records to occur, or faculty to say rude things about my disability.  Why didn’t I stand up and say SHUT UP and let me learn.

I have no regrets. Not really. I love Wake but I now understand that my expectations for disabilitness and medical culture have been lower by medical school.   Wake has a loooong way to go.

But I still love Wake. But now that they don’t control my future.  You better believe that when I return in September as a guest lecturer I will be looking for ways to encourage them to keep going.

Now if I just get of my intense anxiety of not being smart enough to be here…life would be sweet.