Free the Teddy Bears

I got an e-mail today from the British woman who I met on the airplane home who by what can only be divine planning happened to be about to start volunteering at Crinul Alb (home for disabled children).  Over Christmas they gathered 120  boxes (Operation Christmas Child esque), one for each child. Inside was a stuffed animal, crayons, a coloring book, socks, gloves and hat (its cold in ROMANIA!!!). My friend delivered them after spending months collecting and packaging the donations. She gave them out and was excited to see each child for the first time have a toy of their own. She played with the children she is working with on developmental milestones. As she was leaving she saw staff members loading the boxes into a storage room. She walked back to the common room where she had delivered the boxes, not a single child had anything from the boxes.  They were sitting in their normal places rocking against the wall with hands reaching out to her as she entered the room.

My friend was so disheartened, she cried out in frustration and told me she feared becoming cynical. As I read her e-mail, I realized with terrifying acuity that I wasn’t surprised. I am not shocked any more. In fact I expect it. I expect our efforts to fail. I expect to hear more horror stories. I expect ceaseless hopelessness. I expect indifference. I expect ignorance. No good deed goes unpunished.
            And I know exactly how she feels but I realize I stopped feeling it. I know exactly how crazy it is. I know how ridiculous it is for 120 children to sit day after day without even a toy for stimulation or socks to keep them warm. I know how futile it is that these things are right there available for these children separated only by a wall.

I know how crazy it is that although they are surrounded by human beings that they get hit when they should receive comfort, shushed when they cry in pain. I know how silly it seems to never pick up a crying infant when there are multiple adults in the room. There is no separation, not even a wall. At least not a physical wall, they just listen to them cry or turn up the radio louder or yell or even hit till they stop.  I know these things but I am not surprised by them.

I do not hate the Romanians. I do not question their intelligence or their capacity for compassion. I know their history well enough to know that it has been beaten out of them much the way it is beaten out of these children.

There is no logic to prejudice. It eats logic, compassion and truth. It gnaws its way into the human mind until it is the only lens the person sees the world. In the lives of these children it’s a shameless, guiltless, relentless beast that slowly devours their capacity to trust, to hope, to love and then slowly cuts off their ability to reason, to grow, to talk, to walk. And this is not some touchy-feely melodramatic rant. Its down right medical, we see the results in attachment disorders, criminal behavior down the road and children stunted in growth and development after years of neglect particularly during early childhood or as infants.

Why would a sub-human need a teddy bear?  I mean they might tear it up, a waste of a toy that could go to better uses, for more worthy beings, distribution of limited resources from teddy bears on up.

 

I almost ended my entry there then I remembered my own Christmas morning. Early before all of us were even up and ready for the festivities. My mom brought down the first two packages. She set one down in our ancient, fat cat’s basket and another at in front of our bouncy terrier. They being smart, resourceful creatures broke open the packages and found a small stuffed creature to play with and do whatever they want with. And no one has taken them away from them.

 

I must still have a heart after all because the irony is making it hurt.