Hospital Decorating

So my Dad is the head of a brand new state of the art mammography center (yes my Dad looks at breasts all day…stop giggling…you are so 12 yrs old…he is darn good at it.) with new digital mammograms machines (translation: shiny new digital cameras) and sterotatic MRI biopsy machine(cool video game like shiny machine that allows you to poke people with large needles with more accuracy). Anyways radiologists love new shiny machines, however since they live in dark rooms their interior decorating skills are usually lacking. Thus the group hired a interior decorator.

For some reason she chose mustard yellow, brown and red. Basically body fluid colors for the waiting area. She also chose very overstuffed sofas so that only one to two people can actually sit down on them and when they do they drown in throw pillows. You can just see the woman of Roanoke anxiously awaiting to be called in for their yearly NO-FUN exam feeling slightly nauseated as they sit on the puke/urine colored coach with blood red walls and poop colored throw pillows. Finally, they hear their name called but then they have to climb over a mountain of poop colored throw pillows to get up. Yesterday they ran out of seats. due to the overstuffed-ness. Also the decorator chose a variety of body fluid colored throw rugs. Which are a nice change from the ever cheerful gray hospital title except they are also a huge fall hazard. And considering that many of the patients are elderly, this is a big problem.

So Dad is trying to figure out what to do. Yesterday they brought in folding chairs and picked up all the throw rugs. He is frustrated…people can’t get mammograms in this County and instead of reading mammograms he is trying to prevent little old ladies from following and breaking their hips on the throw rugs or having to stand for an hour because there is not enough seats in the waiting room.

Why are hospitals always such a drag when it comes to decorating? I mean its either body fluid colors or sterile white or gray. Or worse yet extremely impractical! I went for my annual physical this morning and realized that reason number 457 why I love my family practice doctor here in Roanoke is she has plastered her walls with doctor related comics, poems and colorful pictures. It much more pleasant to sit on an exam table nearly naked if there are actual things to LOOK at other than your cold, shivering self. AND ITS CHEAP…its not like she spent loads of money or time on decorating. She also in the process of looking for Holiday or Winter potholders for her exam room stirrups instead of the normal sock covers. (she likes holidays, today she was wearing large turkey earrings).

In reality decorating doesn’t really effect the quality of care and considering how much health care costs, I don’t think we should spend loads of money on decorating. Yet it again when done well it can make the patient experience slightly less anxiety provoking and pleasant. When we do have to paint a wall or fix broken chairs we should at least try to think about the patients who will use the space. (i.e. throw rugs are a bad idea when a good portion of your population uses canes…COMMON SENSE PEOPLE…COMMON SENSE…)