…crap

We are 90% sure my parents’ insurance company is not going to cover me after Dec 31. Some of you may remember back in Sept when this first came up. We have been working since then and it appears our efforts have failed. We have gone through the necessary channels to extend this policy but it does not appear to be possible. Our insurance agent is trying one last time today to fight for us but he is not optimistic. My Mother is in battle mode, I haven’t seen her like this since high school when we moved to VA and they told us my sister and my credits would not transfer and she fought the school board saying they were discriminating against military children. My grandmother too. My Mom is furious and calling every state official who has a phone number. I keep waiting for the governor to call and say we have been playing phone tag. She is a little craszy in that way that parents of children with issues get when someone tells them NO we can’t help you because your child is different. Never mind I live in another state independently, never mind I am medical school, I will always be her daughter, her first born and disabled child and God help anyone who tries to get in her way of protecting me.

On my end, I have been praying it wouldn’t come to this. But I am not surprised, because I daily hear about the horrors of insurance companies. I already held a weeping patient or two who can’t get coverage or can’t get insurance or can’t pay for the insurance they have. It does not surprise me that the insurance companies don’t give a dam that I am a full time student yet if I was unemployed and never left home they would be happy to cover me for the rest of my natural life. Nor do they care that I have never smoked, drank to excess, done drugs. I exercise regularly, see my primary care provider once a year, I wear my seat belt and I take vitamins. They ask those questions but they are not interested in the answer. They don’t care that I never had choice in being chronically ill. They are happy to punish me anyway, punish me for being born.

On my end, while my mother is picketing the commonwealth and telling anyone who will listen that her medical student daughter is being discriminated against by American health care. I am here on my way to the Student Services Office trying to convince them of the gravity of the situation. Trying to help them understand that while they insist I am covered when I call the company, they say NOTHING CONGENITAL. Everyone I talk to is so calm, so matter of fact as if it all doesn’t matter. And I realize I prefer my mother’s response. The injustice is staring them in the face and they just don’t care. I want to scream “This is not a game. This is my life, my health and my education on the line here. You can either help me get this in writing or you can become part of the problem.” And I realize two things in fast succession:

1. I am just like my mother.
2. My Deans, my professors, my classmates 98% have never been here. They have never been and WILL NEVER be in my situation. They have no clue what it is like. While they fill out insurance papers for other people every day of their professional lives, they have never worried if they would be able to afford healthcare.I don’t hate or resent them for it, I just realize I can’t expect them to understand completely, nor can I judge them.

And despite how terrified and angry at the system, at the school I am grateful. Grateful that I have a family who fights for me and taught me to fight for myself and grateful for perspective. Because the next patient who I see crying over insurance, I will hold them and I will say I’ve been there, it sucks. This is wrong, unjust and un-American. Let’s fight this together.

Praise God for perspective.