Insecurities

Mom has been calling me 4 times a day. Emily has her first boyfriend and she refuses to talk to my Mom about him much more than vague references to a movie here, a study date there. Mom thinks I know all about this situation. In fact I have no clue. I have talked to Emily and gotten the same vague answers plus this “Amy, this sort of thing never happens to me, I am so afraid of screwing it up” And she expects me to have right answers for that. As if I have all infinite answers of how not to “screw it up” When in fact, my last relationship was a fling in Europe under the influence of emotional insanity and a lot of broken Russian.

Then there is my baby sister who refuses to go on a college visit because well as she tells me it scares her out of my mind.

Then there is my roommate who is a serious relationship with a guy and refuses to admit that he will most likely pop the question soon.  But keeps panicking from time to time that its happening. and she is not ready Apparently I have the answers for that too.

I don’t have answers for any of this. I don’t have answers to my hematology assignments. And I certainly don’t have the answers to any of my own fears….med school, decisions, relationships, insurance, etc.

Its just been that sort of week, where it all sort of rained down on all of us leaving us raw and a little shell shocked wondering what had fallen into our lives.